3 Things I've Learned (& Still Learning) From 2020 & 2021

So...I am still alive. Barely mind you, as due to the uncertainty and stress involving the kitchen extension and having to temporarily move out to accommodate that - and then on top of moving back in less than a week ago, also getting ill. It's only now, after three months into 2022, during of which I've turned 20, and also been slowly but surely upgrading my stuff in more ways than compared to what I had before, that my creative energy is gradually reviving.

Which isn't to say  I haven't been active on other things elsewhere; my Discord server is doing well with the voice chat sessions I've managed to host over the past few months,  my new PC has made a difference with related tasks even with its own limitations. Even my reading habit that's been at a rather low pace for a long time, is finally coming back again. But when it comes other areas, like my writing and attempts at YouTube videos, it's a whole different story; a pretty depressing one at that. Okay the writing side hasn't been as bad, but still not productive as I hoped. Now with those explanations out of the way, here's my update/advisory tips from my experience of the last two years of chaos.

​1. Sometimes, your muse needs a break as much as you do.
This is a weird lesson I've found, that is kind of the opposite from what I had first learned in my early days of improving my writing - particularly in my teen years, which weren't too long ago. Now of course, forgetting about your "creative muse" shouldn't be the end result - as that's the end of things if anything else - but having it on your mind on trying to get it back all the time isn't going to help as an instant cure.

The causes and side-effects can vary depending on your current situation; in my case, it was being too overworked on other tasks as well as creative ones, that I ended up losing vision on what direction I was meant to go and bullet points to aim towards. In essence, I was (and still somewhat am) lost.

But all hope isn't gone if one continues to keep sight that hope is on the horizon, and that your muse will soon return. Literally.

                                                Me waiting for success since 2020.

2. Personal responsibilities mustn't be forgotten over creativity.
An obvious lesson, but one of the hardest I've had to go through, given how uncertain everything all was, and still is right now. A good life matters, a happy family matters, and having a stable home matters. And sometimes that requires sacrifice of time and energy over what you may love to do the most for a time...

Okay, that sounds a bit overdramatic in some sense, but in one way, it's true to the tough phases that happen in life. The fact is, finding that balance between personal life and creative life is an ongoing brawl. One of which that does get respite, but not on a regular appearance. 
In short, life is hard. It sometimes sucks, and sometimes it doesn't. What more can I say?

​3. Not everything will turn out in the way you intended, and that's okay.
The one I've always come back to for years, no matter how much I try to avoid it. Whether it's tech crashing whilst working on a YouTube project, or finding complications with setting up extensions to my website (like my newsletter), it can be mentally and emotionally draining when it doesn't quite work. 

​To keep sane through it all is a challenge on its own, and dealing with these failures only adds onto the pain and pressure that's already there. Truth is,  trying to keep motivated even when things go wrong - which I can say for the past two years in particular - is something of an understatement. Plus to accept the current ebb and flow in such a season, as well to be prepared for it, takes time to perfect.

And as one particular iconic anime character quoted:

                          If only I could easily be as chill as Spike Spiegel on some days.

...Yeah this post is not quite my best, and definitely not the comeback I was hoping it would be.  But putting feelings into words  - especially on a personal topic I've wrestled with for awhile -  has kind of come out messy. But with things settling a little once again, I hope to return to more regular posting again on more fun stuff again. Especially as I have Camp NaNoWriMo  starting in less than a couple of months, which I plan to use for an all new short story project. ;) Hope all is well with you, and that the last two months have been in your favour. Stay safe, writerly readers.